I have always questioned you, your existence and the reason. I was in constant search for the meaning, for a revelation that will get me to salvation. Whenever I'm about to run out of words , when I'm about to get to the end of all this mess, I find my finish line is disappearing like a mirage in the desert of my ignorance I find myself lost and looking again for everything I lost...
It's funny, when we find the answer but we don't like the package even before looking inside we start making baseless assumptions and empty arguments. However, when we lose the answer we realize how much it meant and the true value of it and again I'm lost looking for everything I lost...
Pride and ignorance are my sins, my gifts, my curse and my blessings. With my pride I can rule the world but lost the one I love the most. My ignorance was always the driving force behind my hunger for knowledge but was also the cause of all my mistakes...
Now I'm singing along " losing my religion" by Dia Frampton, thinking I lost a battle but not the war. I'm stronger, calmer and finally found my center. After all, all that circling in empty space paid off and I'm no more scared of the unknown...
I was afraid to let myself dream again, I was afraid to let myself go, sink in too deep. Didn't want to be another Alice hiding in the shadow of my dream from reality and the unavoidable truth. No matter how ugly the truth was, some facts about it never change. One, we all know what it is but we chose to look away from it. The 2nd, you can't move on without looking at it, admiring it's ugliness and wondering how could you miss it?! You can't move on without mooring you broken spirit and your wounded pride...
However, part of the beauty of this world, it will keep throwing shit and flowers at you and let you chose which one you want to look at and take. Never take the power of 2nd chances for granted, cause no one can grantee it will come back....
And I'm still singing "losing my religion" but I won't lose my faith and although I'm hurt, blinded and fooled, I'm not giving up cause I believe in the god of 2nd chances. The only thing I lost was just a dream but no wast of time cause a lesson was learned...
That what I learned about myself :) what did you learn about yourself?!
When I red this, something inside me smiled , you made me remember the 2nd chanses . most of us stuck themselves in the past and forget to look at the future , forgive and love themselves. Iam hoping for happy future now
ReplyDeleteI'm honored that my humble posts could do that to :)and I hope u get much more than what you hope for :P
ReplyDeleteI'd lie if I said I only read that twice! Second chance.. It's funny how this two words holds lots of hope and faith for millions of people, some who are less fortunate and others who think they owned the perfect life they wanted. Everyone should believe in second chances, cause if we didnt, life will end before even it begins. But what hurt the most when a second chance come and ppl -including myself- looked away and lost it.. hoping for I don't know what? A third chance?! It's sad how life could be so cruel and if you looked at it properly you'll find some of this cruelty is not what life had thrown at us, it was a CHOICE we made. And that what makes it even sadder.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the time you gave for writing this tachycardic words :P
I'm flattered by ur words...
ReplyDeletewhy not have a 3rd and 4th chance?! time is all what we need and we got a lot of it. our time only end when we chose to end it...
Keep wishing for a 3rd chance why not?! and keep ur hopes up it will cost u nothing after all :)
Sounds mature honest and brave. This is the first time i actually feel that you have written something well balanced and not overtly exaggerated. Well done, and good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThanks JAZ :) I learned from the best " u "
ReplyDeleteI'm still waiting for ur new posts
Good luck to u too