Vanity was always my favorite sin. Of all the sins, this is the one I can't get rid of. It's not as if it's my fault, I'm only driven by my ambition and my ambition is probably bigger than me. To fulfill this ambition I have to scarify a lot and that what makes my vanity grow even bigger. The feeling that nothing in this world is worth loosing my ambition for, makes me feel powerful and independent. This all feed my vanity and sense of self fulfillment.
This vanity became my friend and I loved my powerful soul. This soul that does not need anyone, does not lust for anyone and most certainly alone. I realized the bigger your ambition is the more likely you will end up alone. This is because, with achievement comes the feeling of independence and therefore you start thinking you don't need anyone in your life or having a person in your life will slow you down. You start isolating yourself and with this isolation your head become more and more clear. Now, you met someone you like and give up that person because you are afraid you might lose your focus.
Time pass, you have achieved your full potentials. You have everything you dreamed about and more. Now what ?! you career is perfect, everyone envy you but they don't know you go to sleep alone, and they don't know you are dreaming about that guy/ girl you have left when you were young because time was not suitable with your ambitions. The question is if you were happy then why aren't you happy now?!
Your vanity takes over and you start trying to convince yourself, I have done everything I wanted and more. However, there is always a tiny voice in your head wonders, what if ?!
What if I didn't let that person go?! What if I told that person how much I loved him/ her?! What if I toke that trip?! What if I became something else?! What if I chose an easier major?! What if I wasn't me?!
Lots of questions will come up to your mind, when you stop being blinded by your ambition. Then, you will wonder what if?!
The photo reflects the complete opposite of what you wrote.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I believe the biggest challenge in all this is controlling your emotions, or supressing them for that matter.
Being mislead by peoples love, care and kindness is another thing you should look out for.
You think your gonna be able to do that?
It's only logic that it's not easy not to treat them the same way they do
Eventually vanity would fade away because of satisfaction, and you already started asking these questions that are mostly misleading your goals.
Best of luck demo.