Saturday, March 24, 2012

You Do Not Understand Me


It's the words you say without knowing what hurt me the most. It's the things you don't mean what torment me. I don't blame you for them and I'm not mad. You don't understand me that's all I want you to know.

"I'm disappointed" he said...
To you, it's just an expression of what you are feeling because I'm a woman who gets jealous for the guy she likes. You don't get me because by saying that you insulted my femininity, and you have insulted the feelings I carry for you. Your disappointment burned me because I want you to look at me with the same admiration I carry for you. I don't want to be less than perfect for you.

"Very low of you" he said...
He thinks I should be fine with him ignore me for no clear reason. He thinks I shouldn't go crazy and he thinks I shouldn't say "I love you". I have to admit, I am ashamed of the last one. It was too soon but I couldn't help it because this is how I felt. He doesn't know I did not want to go out with him because I know how deeply I cared for him and because I knew that falling for him is unavoidable. I know I'm not in my strongest days and maybe I'm confused but that's what I truly believe I felt.

Things he does not understand...
I'm not strong and I'm not brave. I lack confidence and I say what I don't mean. I make mistakes all the time but I know when to apologize. When I make fun of you it's just my way of saying you make me nervous. I look like someone who has it all together but I'm as messed up as woman can be. Beside all the contradiction in me, I'm the most honest person you can find when it comes to the way I feel about you. I don't need your time, money, or anything a girl would usually ask a guy. I only want your heart and that would be more than enough for me.

I'm not brave and I'm not strong, please M.R. don't mistake me for one.

7 comments:

  1. Demo
    It is nice to describe ur feeling to relax and throw out some of the stupid feeling which accumulate like Dom inside ur heart ,u can not throw it all at the same time .
    The story was end (I hope so) u learn a good lesson this time I know the fee was so expensive which Is ur feeling but this the life role nothing for free
    I know how much it hurt when describe the time Of happiness and smiling with tear and broken heart at the same time it confusing and painful .
    But no benefit of remembering the stories and cry for it . Sometimes it out of ur hand I know but do ur best .and u will do it I M sure
    Any injury take time to heal it is normal process

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  2. U did a mistake and no way to make it nice or to lie .
    I do not say that to blame u or to look down to u NO
    I am honest with u I tell u what I see it is right ,at the same time I do not have right to tell u what u should or what u should not do .i know u very well it is stupid to give u instrucation to follow for sure u will throw it and u will do what u believe in As usual
    Anyways I am always here for u either u follow my instruction Or throw it
    Try to get well soon .LOVE YOURELF

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  3. My Beautiful Demo,

    Just an advice for the future,

    Never say I love you to a guy before he says first!!! It shows that you are clingy and weak, something most of us despise. We like a girl we can chase. It is kind of fun and it makes us feel we are facing a puzzle that we are dying to solve.

    Now let's go back to your beautiful writing (beautiful is my word of the day today, which fits my writing to you). I have got 4 points that I would like to write:

    First, I don't know this M.R. guy, but as a guy, let me tell you something. If I loved a girl (I already do actually, and maybe she is reading this comment right now ;)), then I would be EXTREMELY happy she is jealous!!!!

    It means she wants me as much as I want her. I never want to be in a relationship where I love a girl while she is having FUN with me. Believe me, I have been there and it hurts!!!!!! Girls can be bitchy and cruel.

    Second, I told you before, I don't think this guy loves you, I think he is having fun with you because you are a smart, beautiful, sophisticated girl who actually has a BRAIN over her head unlike most girls I know. On top of that, you love him? He HAS to take an advantage of that to make him feel better. All guys do!!

    Third, I think you are strong, but haven't we all been a love's bitch before? I think that's where you are right now. You need to get out of that place for your own emotional health and move on.

    So,dumb this nut case, that's my advice. Again, I don't know him, but if I did, I would have kicked his ass!!!!! Seriously!!!!!

    The fourth and final point is, I have nothing more to say except that this guy you love can't take a FUCKING hint!!!!!

    Yours truly,
    LA

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  4. hey again,

    Thank you for your lovely words :) u made my day. I love your comments they give me hope. Also, I would like to inform you I'm almost done with him. I promise you, I'm too tired of him anyway. I love your advices and I'm working on applying them. This ishallah will be my last post about him because his chapter is coming to an end.
    Last but not least I would really love to know who you are :).
    Can you tell me plz?!

    Thanks...

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  5. Demo,

    If you know who I am, then all the excitement you are having right now about my identity will be gone!!!! Where is the fun in that??? ;)

    I want to keep my identity a secret for the time being if your majesty allows me, but I will tell you in the future Demo, I promise you.

    All you need to know right now is that I am the kind of guy you can count on always to be there for you and to heal, love and preserve your precious heart. I never want to see you put a picture of your heart ripped out. You are ONE in a million, Do you understand me? I knew that the hard way...

    Sincerely Yours,
    LA

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  6. -___-" u have one month starting from now 30days to be exact. I love the mystery but whats the point if u r not gonna tell me in the end ?!

    :)keep reading my post cause i enjoy your comments !

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