Self - Actualization

As a part of fixing my self, I'm siting in front of a mirror trying to take a good look at myself. Of course I start hurting my self with my own insecurities. My head is too big, my nose is huge, my ears look like Dumbo's ears. Fuck I look like Dumbo, then I wake up from my self-conscious hallucinations and realize it should be more like soul search than my mind fuck. After losing all of my self confidence -_-" I start seeing who I am on the inside...

I have to be honest and admit that I don't like the mess I see inside. I can see where I have done wrong, I let the worse of it get the best of me. I forgot who I'm supposed to be, I forgot what I have accomplished so far, and I forgot who I am. I let his problems define me, his rejection overwhelm me, and his stupidity rule me. I could have been the worst thing that happened to him. Yeah, If he thinks that I showed him hell, he's mistaken, I just opened a window on my Tartarus. However, that ended without seeing the best of it. Enough about him, this should be about me...

When I look at myself, I see the girl who lost, her family, her dream, and herself. It was an accumulative effect no ones fault but me. I don't believe in myself, I lost my fire but at lest I can admit it. I let myself slip through the cracks and I lost that spark in my eyes that spark that kept me going when things got dark...

To be honest I hate who I became, or whom I let myself become because of few pumps and heartbreaks along what can be a really long and lonely road. However, I'm still standing and my story have still not ended...