I Broke a Heart

I never thought I can break a heart on purpose, at least not a person I claim to care for. I broke the heart of a man whom I love and adore. But I came to the realization that love is not the most important factor for a relationship to survive. I realized I want more than love and childish games. I don't want my life to revolve around a man and though I thought I could love for the sake of not being lonely I realized I want more than that. He might be the perfect man, handsome, strong and smart. He is the perfect man but maybe not for me. There was still something missing which I didn't know what it is but now I do know...

I used to laugh at " it's not you it's me" phrase but I guess it is true in some sense. Or is it that I'm turning into something I disrespect. I know I'm not afraid of relationships but I want more than holding hands, or kisses on cheeks, more than the dates and sweet gifts. I want to be that old lady siting in Starbucks waiting for her love, that old man with gray hair, to bring her the coffee. I want to have her smile when she sees his face coming up the stairs and I want a man who would be proud to take me on date and bring me coffee after I'm all old and wrinkled.

I know that I have to be realistic and aim for possible. Gather all the factor that could make a relationship work then if it fails I can tell myself surly it wasn't meant to be. It is not wise to plane for failure then expect success. Chose a man that you will admire for more than his looks after 25 years of being together. A man whom you will still love even if he no longer can bring you the diamond rings. The man whom you can take to your parents and not only be proud to present but also the man they will never refuse. My equation have changed over the past 6 years and will continue to change for I am not meant to be the same.

This is the recipe for success...