1st There was Insomnia

I stared to write as therapy when i was 14. The psychiatrist thought that the root of my problems is simply as he described it "too much thinking my girl". So, he purposed that whenever i am sleepless i should look for a pen and start writing every word that comes up to my mind and so i did. At first it was just random words and little by little the words started to form sentence and the sentence into paragraphs . At the end, i get tired and go peacefully to sleep . Eventually, i had enough words to draw the lines and borders of my problem and the shrink was happy that he found a name for my disease and a treatment though i like to call it a temporary solution.

The problem .....
I was depressed and refuse to admit it, i was lonely and refuse to admit it, i was in love and refuse to admit it, i was happy and refuse to admit it and i was scared and refuse to admit it. To put it more simply, i was in DENIAL.....

DENIAL......
What was i afraid of .... what was i ashamed of.... what was i thinking....
I think, i was in a place where i am scared of people knowing that i have heart, feelings, and can fall in love like any other girl. I was ashamed cause now i am no different from any girl i looked down at for falling in love. I thought LOVE was for stupid girls so evil boys can have fun with them.

Why do they call it "fall in love"......
Why can't people walk in love, why do they have to fall??!! the more i think about it the more clear it gets to me :) . When we fall there is a few seconds where we are actually flying and the longer the distance the more flying time we get but the law of gravity insets that we fall to the ground.
So lets look at the similarity....
The few seconds where we are flying are the euphoria of love, when that person is every thing to you, his/her smile can light up the whole day, and his/her touch can take you to another dimension. The distance or how long you can stay in the flying state it depend on how lucky you are but keep in mind the longer you stay means you are taking too long in the air and the collision is not going to be easy or fun :S . One thing i forgot to mention the wight of the falling object, heavy object tend to cause more damage even if the distance was relatively short and the wight here is our pride. Finally, the collision and the ground you just hit is reality and what a cruel reality it was.

Anyhow :D.....
This is just another night of insomnia gave my best in it, tried to be funny, smart, and humble.
So, just wish me a good night of sleep :)