To late to say I love you, too late to say sorry, too late to say goodbye, we are always late for something, somewhere, or someone. The funny part is we invented time, we gave it a name and we gave it the value. So, when did we stopped owning it?!, when did we let it take control and I did it again "when".
Have you ever wondered, how did people live before the invention of time? is it the numbers on a clock or is it the changing of day to night and night to day that sets the beginning of a new day?. Why is it the morning that sets it, why not night?!
I know I ask a lot of "Question" but I'm not looking for an answer to a dilemma. Only wondering why?! trying to make this engine run again :S
For some reason I feel like I'm losing against time, it and I fought for so long. Sometimes I lose sometimes it win, no i did not make a mistake here. I don't think we can win with time we can only tie with it because eventually we will run out of time :S .
Why this post ?
I run out of time and could not apologize to her. She's dead now, her time have run out. My time have run out. I said what I said and I don't regret it. Only I wish I could feel what every normal person supposed to feel. I wish I could feel something....
She....
She was not my friend only someone I knew but I think she thought I was more. A mother of two angels, had a nice loving husband, a dear sister, and a father with a big heart. They will miss her...
She was strong, brave, irrational, and stupid at times but she made a decision and stuck to it. I wish I could say more but i did not know her enough.
I can't help but think.....
What if I was nicer to her, what if I showed some care. The truth is I can't...
Maybe because I'm heartless, emotionless, maybe cause I'm not human enough, maybe cause I thought I was better than her, maybe cause I was miserable and I want her to feel the same.
Pleas don't try to make me feel better or say that I'm a good person at heart. I know I'm not, at least I might not have a heart that work like the rest of you.
So now....
Maybe after this the voices will stop.
Did the voices really stop?
ReplyDelete:( nop
ReplyDeletemaybe we r ment to meet like these ppl and act the way we did to make us learn to be nicer and more caring, even if we didn't really care, but we act as if we care help us to be better ppl. if we didn't have like what happend in this story we will never learn. so. the voices we have in our heads doesn't mean that we are heartless or emotionless no, it means we have have a heart that is telling us why did we act like this ? and make us turn to be better ppl.
ReplyDeleteand i'm not saying that to tell u that u r a good person, no u weren't a good person @ that moment but i'm telling u that u have a heart that will keep making voices in ur head that will make u wake up someday and decide to start acting as a good person, cuz there is no one without a heart but we r who decide how to act.